National Geographic asked me to summarise the 1990s in one image. This is what I came up with.
This is doubly relevant as I’m off to reach for the lasers myself at the wonderful Boomtown festival for a few days. I’m not bringing a copy of Paint with me I’m afraid but I’ll see you all when I get back. Bye!
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
1. Every app evolves until it does messaging.
2. Every app will eventually add “updated and synced across all your devices” to its list of features.
3. Regardless of how big the market share of Android becomes, app developers in Europe and SF will prefer to do iOS first.
4. The developers will at one time think it’s a good idea to make the app’s tagline “<insert app type: Email/Blogging/Hotel bookings/Sharing>. Reimagined.”
If you see a mushroom cloud from an atomic bomb, you’re supposed to stick your arm out and hold your thumb over the cloud. If the cloud is larger than your thumb, you’re in the radiation zone and should evacuate. This is what Vault Boy is doing in the Fallout series.
I read about this a while ago, nuked my mind because I always thought he was just a happy chappy
This explains so much